This story was about a journey, and we're left with the hope that Sora is going to manage to fix things, without being bogged down with the execution.
\o/ In my head it's always been 'the psychological adventure story', so I'm glad that came through.
There were a lot of good things you did with your formatting, but there were some things that didn't quite work, as well.
Formatting! My nemesiiiis~! Um, if you're able to expand on that that'd be great? I tried to get it to conform to what seems to be the web standards, but if there're ways to improve it I'd love to know them.
Very commonly throughout the fic, you'd use a period to indicate a pause/stutter when an ellipses would have conveyed your meaning a lot better. It kept throwing me out of the story as I tried to interpret what you were saying.
...huh! Okay, I'll keep that in mind for the future, thank you!
Out of curiosity, when little!Sora bumped his head there at the end, is it safe to assume the pain he was feeling there was his actual injury seeping through the dreamscape? It sort of felt like he was maybe feeling the tension surrounding him (such as Kairi's guilt) as well.
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This story was about a journey, and we're left with the hope that Sora is going to manage to fix things, without being bogged down with the execution.
\o/ In my head it's always been 'the psychological adventure story', so I'm glad that came through.
There were a lot of good things you did with your formatting, but there were some things that didn't quite work, as well.
Formatting! My nemesiiiis~! Um, if you're able to expand on that that'd be great? I tried to get it to conform to what seems to be the web standards, but if there're ways to improve it I'd love to know them.
Very commonly throughout the fic, you'd use a period to indicate a pause/stutter when an ellipses would have conveyed your meaning a lot better. It kept throwing me out of the story as I tried to interpret what you were saying.
...huh! Okay, I'll keep that in mind for the future, thank you!
Out of curiosity, when little!Sora bumped his head there at the end, is it safe to assume the pain he was feeling there was his actual injury seeping through the dreamscape? It sort of felt like he was maybe feeling the tension surrounding him (such as Kairi's guilt) as well.
...I never even thought of that! I was actually more going for the way Naminé's memory-altering has messed his head up - the memories are still there, like all memories, but they didn't fade in a natural way; she didn't want them to be found again. So stumbling across them is actually breaking his brain again, in a small way - breaking it back to a more natural memory-progression, but it's still breaking. And in KH-verse brain breaking tends to be shown by severe headpain followed by unconsciousness, but of course Sora's already unconscious, so it's muted.
BUT I really like your interpretation, too! And it's out in the wilds now, you can interpret it any way you please. :D
Overall, I enjoyed this story.
\o/ YAY! I'm glad you liked it! :D:D:D